Of Mice and Men

Many years ago, Steve went into hospital to have polyps removed from his nose.   The reasonably simple operation became very difficult when the surgeon rang me from the theatre and asked me was there any reason why Steve kept bleeding!    They managed to remove a couple of polyps but had to stop because of the profuse bleeding.  Steve was left with a stuffy nose and no sense of smell.

Where am I leading with this?

He can't smell the bloody mice, that's where!!!!

I have been sniffing on either side of the fridge for nearly 2 weeks now.  It was putrid.   Of course, Steve could smell nothing.  Nor could either of my Home Helpers.  Nor could the visitors I had at the weekend.  

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???  

I have spent a lifetime explaining to people how to clean out their sinuses but do they heed me??  Not on your nelly! 

Once more --------  make up a solution of tepid, salty water.  The idea is to sniff it up through a nostril.  I use a syringe and squirt it up.  Do one nostril at a time and close the other one off with a finger.  Sniff strongly through the nostril as the water goes through.

NOW HERE'S THE HARD PART. but it gets much easier with practice.

As the water hits the back of your throat, and immediately before you throw up, give a big hawk and spit the water out of your mouth.  Do this with both nostrils until you have emptied a small tumbler of water.  Repeat every few hours.   Bit by bit, you will begin to hawk out the contents of your sinuses.  On one occasion, I found that the mucous in the sinuses had compacted into a hard tube, 6" long.  The procedure then was to hawk and pull the tube gently, repeat.  Try very hard not to puke.

Today, Steve was fed up with me inviting strangers in to smell beside my fridge.  He said that it was undignified to put signs up at the highway, inviting people to come up and sniff.  Just kidding.   Anyway, he hauled the fridge out from it's cubbyhole and ................

WE GOT OUT 3 DEAD MICE.

One of them was in the dish that contains water.  This isn't a dish that has to be emptied but it seems to heat up.  This goes a long way towards explaining why the smell was much stronger at times!!!

OMG ----   This is nearly as bad as the mouse that crawled into the spaghetti cooker.    Why don't I have blocked sinuses like everyone else around me???    Because I sniff the bloody salty water, that's why.  I'm surrounded by wimps.

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